The holidays have been keeping me busy. I find that is a blessing and a curse. I love the distraction, but there are some holiday moments that make me long to be a mom. Watching my niece open her gifts (we had Hanukkah celebration on Sat), little girls with cute dresses and mary jane shoes at the nutcracker performance, and baking cookies. I think its hard because last year during the holidays we had been trying for 6months and I thought FOR SURE we would be pregnant before this Christmas and now I am wondering how many more holiday seasons it will be before we get there. I am hopeful that we will get there in this next year, but that's what I said last year.
As for the progress. I talked to the doc about the surgery and have to have an MRI in January. It looks like there will be another couple of cycles before the surgery happens. Hopefully one of them will be THE cycle and I can avoid the knife altogether. I am hoping 2007 will be a lucky one.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Messing with me
I am trying to get over my post negative blues and making progress and then AF has to go and mess with me. She showed up a day late and for a whole 24 hours I actually thought the test might have been wrong and got my hopes all up and stuff. Well she has arrived to crush those hopes yet again and also her tardiness messed up timing for IUI this month. Thanks bunches Flo.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Do over
It was yet another negative test result day. Apparently vacation relaxation was not helpful enough and there will be no Christmas baby miracles here. Now I have to call my doc and talk about surgery and IVF. Merry Christmas to me.
I am also out of ice cream.
Is it tomorrow yet?
I am also out of ice cream.
Is it tomorrow yet?
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Dread
I am wrapped in a sense of dread and impending doom. The time for testing is rapidly approaching and I want nothing to do with it. I want to hold on to my shred of hope that this month will be different. But alas the pee sticks must come out and I am afraid they will report the same bad news. I attempted a preemptive strike on the sadness by consuming an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's (phish food this time) but it just brought on the nausea that I was hoping to feel for a different reason. I fear that I might run out of ice cream flavors before I get the news I want.
Well, another day, another spoonful. I will keep you posted.
Well, another day, another spoonful. I will keep you posted.
Friday, December 01, 2006
The name game
Vacation is great, but I have been trying to wade throughout the pile of mail and other stuff to do and have not have enough time to blog. So sorry.
Anyway, not much new on the TTC front. Still waiting. I ditched the ticker because I could never get it show the right day. But I can continue to tell you about my SIL TTC saga. There is a little (big) back story that would take too long to type but I will give you the highlights. So basically in addition TTC (yes, they know we have been trying) my BIL and SIL are threatening to steal our favorite potential girl name. Now I KNOW my worrying about this sounds stupid and petty and I realize that it kind of is, but if you knew the whole back story it would make much more sense. Anyway, when they were preg last time they asked for advice on what to name the baby and we asked them to please not name her X (our chosen name) because it was the only name that hubby and I could agree on. It was not in their top choices at the time so we didn't think it would be a big deal. Well they got all offended and said that they loved the name and might use it. Ok fine. We just thought we would ask, and they ended up using another name . No big deal UNTIL...
There was a dinner conversation on our vacation (I promptly left the table upon its beginning) and they were talking about TTC and how if they have a girl they have 2 names left from their top 3 and now my SIL doesn't like one of the other names so they think they would pick X (the name that this whole back story and argument was about).Seriously? They had to have known that this would be like rubbing salt in a wound for me, right?? It is not about the name really, but I feel like that was downright mean to talk about. She is not my favorite person right now.
SO, because I realize that this whole argument is completely stupid, I broke out the baby name book last night (yes, I have a baby name book). Hubby bought it for me when we started trying and it has been deeply buried in a drawer ever since. We went in search of a new name that we could agree on so that we could let go of the other one and so that I can not be upset when my BIL & SIL get preg before us, have a girl, and name her X. (OK I will still be upset, but I might be able to avoid unnecessary violence).
Wow, there are a lot of girls names out there and some are doozies. Yikes! I am very thankful to my parents that they spared me from the fate of some of the ones I read. We don't have any winners yet but I felt better that we found some new possibilities. I also know that all this is a little premature, but it part of the hopefull phase that I am in at the moment. One more week until we know whether or not we can put these names to good use.
Anyway, not much new on the TTC front. Still waiting. I ditched the ticker because I could never get it show the right day. But I can continue to tell you about my SIL TTC saga. There is a little (big) back story that would take too long to type but I will give you the highlights. So basically in addition TTC (yes, they know we have been trying) my BIL and SIL are threatening to steal our favorite potential girl name. Now I KNOW my worrying about this sounds stupid and petty and I realize that it kind of is, but if you knew the whole back story it would make much more sense. Anyway, when they were preg last time they asked for advice on what to name the baby and we asked them to please not name her X (our chosen name) because it was the only name that hubby and I could agree on. It was not in their top choices at the time so we didn't think it would be a big deal. Well they got all offended and said that they loved the name and might use it. Ok fine. We just thought we would ask, and they ended up using another name . No big deal UNTIL...
There was a dinner conversation on our vacation (I promptly left the table upon its beginning) and they were talking about TTC and how if they have a girl they have 2 names left from their top 3 and now my SIL doesn't like one of the other names so they think they would pick X (the name that this whole back story and argument was about).Seriously? They had to have known that this would be like rubbing salt in a wound for me, right?? It is not about the name really, but I feel like that was downright mean to talk about. She is not my favorite person right now.
SO, because I realize that this whole argument is completely stupid, I broke out the baby name book last night (yes, I have a baby name book). Hubby bought it for me when we started trying and it has been deeply buried in a drawer ever since. We went in search of a new name that we could agree on so that we could let go of the other one and so that I can not be upset when my BIL & SIL get preg before us, have a girl, and name her X. (OK I will still be upset, but I might be able to avoid unnecessary violence).
Wow, there are a lot of girls names out there and some are doozies. Yikes! I am very thankful to my parents that they spared me from the fate of some of the ones I read. We don't have any winners yet but I felt better that we found some new possibilities. I also know that all this is a little premature, but it part of the hopefull phase that I am in at the moment. One more week until we know whether or not we can put these names to good use.
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