And the winner is??

The suspense is killing me. This morning I waved goodbye to a significant amount of blood and sent it on its merry way to the lab (to see what the problem with my cycle is). Now I just have to sit and wait for the results. Looks like it will be about a week+. I think this TTC thing is supposed to teach you patience because I feel like waiting is all I do.
Wait for the birth control to get out of your system (I heard lots of "it takes time") Yeah. Not 8 months.
Then there is the wait for ovulation, which in my case, could take millennia.
Then the worst is the dreaded tww (two week wait) with all of the "what if" going on. tourture.

With all of this training I am going to be a rock star at waiting out temper tantrums, or being patient with homework, I might even learn to cut my hubby some slack. See, I will be a good mommy. All I have to do is wait...

Dopey

Can the preggy/mommy brain thing happen before you actually concieve? Maybe it is a side effect of my blonde hair color or something, but I have somehow screwed up taking my meds. DUH. You would think that this would not happen considering that I have professional training on medications and am slightly obsessive about all of this TTC stuff, but alas when I checked my chart to record my temp today I am suppoed to have 3 more pills to take. Yeah, there are only 2 left in the container. What on earth did I do? I counted them when I filled the prescription and they were all there. My big hope is that I did not take 2 in one day. Oops! I am trying to make the hormone imbalence better, not worse! Maybe down the sink, on the floor, who knows??? This does not bode well for the future forgetfullness to come. Sorry my friends, if I forget about you it was not intentional I am just slowly losing my mind.


***Update: No lost pill, just a lost mind and an inability to count

The Irony

I am happy to report that the side effects are subsiding. Even if acupunture isn't enough to jump start my ovaries, it does helpto clear up my skin and put me in a good mood. That makes it worth my dime.

The irony I am experienceing is that I am working on a project in which I have to research family planning care of women...that means mostly "how NOT to get pregnant". So I am spending my days knee deep in birth control methods yet I think...I have got the how NOT to get pregnant thing pretty much figured out. It is the how TO get pregnant part that I am having trouble with. I guess I have got the how-to part of it figured out too. I mean I understand the physiology. My brain knows what to do, but my body is a "slow learner" I think clomid will make a great tutor :-)

It figures

Drugs are good but they do bring their little friends - side effects. I knew they were coming, but I am not sure how they are going to help my cause. The acne has arrived, whoo hoo! I had acne as a teenager, I did my time, but it is back for another round. As for the mood swings, I feel a little cranky but hubby might tell a different story. I hope its not too bad.
My big question is, how is a face full of zits and a bad mood supposed make hubby want to to be in the same room with me much less the same bed?

drumroll please...

I took the mandatory test this morning and OF COURSE it was negative. duh. I could have told the NP that there was no way I was preg but she had to cover her you-know-what. Fine with me. Today is day number one of the drugs, 11 more to go. Fun with hormones! I hope that they don't induce too much mood swinging or a revival of more teenage acne. Don't worry, I will keep you posted whether you like it or not!!

Chocolates, roses, drugs

No lovey presents for me this Valentines day. I get a preg test and some progesterone. whoo hoo! I have been avoiding the hubby for the last 2 weeks (doctor's orders) and have to take a preg test tomorrow just to make sure. I can tell you that answer right now, but I will take the test for kicks. Then we move on to the drugs. 2 weeks of progesterone that will supposedly invite aunt flo back into my life. Come on back! I have been taking the ovulation tests "just in case" my body decides to wake up on its own, but I think it is in a holding pattern. I get the 2 lines (still) but no surge. Of course, today was a little darker but still not a positive. I am not sure what is going on there, but the ovaries have 2 days to wake up or I am going to drug them and hope that they can rally for next cycle.
Stay tuned for more posts full of TMI. :-)

Stress?

So the other thing the NP said at my visit is that this could possibly be caused by stress. I think maybe there is some truth to this, and people keep telling me this (which is not that helpful). Hubby's advice was "stop stressing out about stuff" (REALLY not helpful). So I have been trying to figure out if I believe this is true and how much I can realistically do about it.

I am in grad school but have 1 class and can do the rest of my work from home, in my PJ's like I am now. I have a job but only work max 10 hours a week, and don't have any other life stuff to stress about. Everyone is happy and healthy. That combined with the fact that I took off 3 weeks over the holidays (no school, no work, no nothing) and still have f'ed up cycles tells me that either this is not ALL stress realated or I am going to have sit on my butt and do nothing in order to get pg. I think that would cause a different kind of mental strain- aka-boredom.

I am graduating soon and supposed to be looking for a job but I go through this daily argument with myself "this Pg thing could take a while and I have some great opportunities presenting themselves. so I should get a job" OR " I should focus on this pg thing, eliminate stress, keep my very part time job and not get a full time job". I am not sure I am capable of this! I LIKE being really busy. I am also having trouble with the "housewife" designation, mostly guilt about not contributing to the household. I feel like I should be DOING something. FYI - I am TOTALLY OK with the stay-at-home-mom designation, but what am I supposed to do in the meantime??

Can you tell I am struggling with this issue?

Thanks for listening.

The verdict

I now remember why most women are not excited to go to the GYN, but we did make a little progress. Gettin' some tests done but I have to get blood drawn on day 3 of my cycle which could be, um, next week, next month, next year? Who freaking knows. She wanted me to wait until I got there on my own, but I brought out the "don't-give-me-that-BS-I-know-you-got-drugs-for-that" look, and so she gave the drugs. I am a happy girl! I have wait 2 weeks before I can take them, 2 weeks before they work, then I get the tests done and probably have to wait another 2 weeks for the results. In the meantime this could be a rather boring blog. Sorry.
Let's get this party started!