Thursday, June 15, 2006


Two days on the drugs and I haven't become a bitch yet (well, any more than usual). I did get a sign this morning that the drugs may be turning me into more of a sap. I was at the coffee shop with hubby and reading the newspaper when I read an article about a 98 year old women who graduated from high school. Two days ago I would have thought "you go girl" and turned the page. Today I got all teary eyed and was having all sorts of "that is just the sweetest thing I have ever heard!" thoughts. (with a "bless her heart" for good measure). I mean, it is great and all, but that is not normal for me. Should be an interesting week.

I have 3 more days on the crazy pills...stay tuned for more mood swinging :-)


Sunshine said...

I don't know you, just followed the link from R*Belle's....anyway. Read some of your posts and wanted to share and maybe I'd give you a pep talk too, if you want it?
I was in your shoes once upon a time, if I get the quickie version of what your shoes are like from the posts I read.
Hubby and I had been married about a year and a half, college grads, new town, new jobs, happy. Got pregnant. Happier yet. Miscarriage. Six months to follow of the most deep depression I've ever known in my life.
Got Clomid from the doc when he thought it was OK to try to get pregnant again. Worked the first time out of the gates. (Not saying that's how it goes for everyone, just for me it did, which was WAY cool since I was so depressed).
My son, the Clomid baby one, just turned 10 in March. He was a gorgeous baby, nine pounds of "holy shit does this hurt" labor and now he's a mouthy about to be fifth grader and I love the hell out of that kid. And I love my next son, and my two crazy little girls - the diva and the tomboy.
Everyone always told us when we were trying to conceive to "relax, it'll happen...." blah blah blah. We did, and it did, but it was sort of annoying for people to say that at the time because you just want everyone to want your baby as bad as you want your baby to happen.
I'm only going to say, I'll keep you in my thoughts, and my advice is to just keep doing what you're doing, you sound like you are doing everything great!
I'm done having kids myself, four healthy wonderful blessings here are plenty. But, I wanted that first one really bad too, and I know in my heart she was a girl and my due date was September 7th and when that time of year comes around, I get a little sad thinking I'm going to have to wait a long time to meet her. So, I try to enjoy my kids and not complain when they're driving me crazy. I'll take that over anything else.
I look forward to reading your posts when you are expecting. :)

Jenny said...

Calibelle, it's yet another stranger, sent over from RBelle. And I am also suffering the fertility blues, feeling a bit stuck and more than slightly alone. My friends and co-workers keep announcing their pregnancies. Some came easy, some were a struggle, one was $35,000 of IVF/donor eggs. And each one reminds that I'm still trying (one miscarriage behind me). I love my friends, but it's so hard to be excited for them when I'm so discouraged for myself. So my thoughts and prayers are with you, my dear. It's nice to have somebody that gets it, even if she is a virtual stranger.