This weekend was quite an adventure. Hubby and I went to the wedding of 2 Iron Man Triathletes. There was a not-so-mini triathalon, major hike, a soccer/football game (he is English), oh and dancing in high heels (which totally counts as an athletic event, btw). You would think that with all of that exercise, outdoor activity, and lovey sentimental stuff I would have been in a great mood. But no, it appears that I am no longer in charge of my mood, and it no longer needs rhyme or reason to go sour. I admit, I am prone to being in the occasional funk. It often coincides with crappy weather, but this time there was no explanation. I think it may have had a little to do with the multitude of children and big preggy bellies, at the wedding. These are my friends so I love playing with the kids and am thrilled for the preggy ones, but I guess I felt left out. Hubby and I were the only 2 non-newlyweds that didn’t have kids or one on the way. It was a bummer.
I guess my previous pity party turned into a low grade funk, but I feel like I am coming out of it now. I had much alcohol at the wedding. Hubby could tell I was in a funk and valiantly offered be the sober driver home from the wedding (even though the couple were more his friends than mine). That’s true love for ya.
On the upside I should get a visit from AF soon and we can start another round. Stay tuned.
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I had a long cry with my care provider at my female yearly checkup about a similar issue. She was very reassuring--when you are waiting for your baby and it's taking too darn long, it's normal to be drawn to all the babies and bellies. And it is hard, it does suck, it will make you grumpy, and very few people will truly get how challenging it is. So give yourself permission for it to be hard, to be jealous, to avoid being around bellies and babies. Be patient and forgiving with yourself and your partner.
But I understand that you feel so very alone it your grief.
Smoochies, Jenny (trying over a year with one miscarraige under my belt, works as a Labor/Delivery nurse, which sort of sucks donkey right now)
www.growingoldernotup.blogspot.com
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