So far so good

We are still happy dancing over here, but now I have to take breaks every 10 minutes to eat something. OH MY GOD can I eat. I think I could out-eat Hulk Hogan. It is bordering on absurd and starting to scare my husband. I think he is picturing me with a 300lb weight gain instead of 30lbs. Other than the food thing I am still feeling pretty good. We are waiting for our first ultrasound next week to make sure all is well. I am a little nervous because one of my friends just had her ultrasound and all was not well. So very sad. But there is not much I can do about it so hopefully a steady supply of yummy food will convince this embryo to stick around! Cross your fingers for us some more. Thanks!

Positive

What more can I say? I am too busy doing my happy dance to blog!!! I will know more when we have an ultrasound in a few weeks and I promise to keep you posted, but for now...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Way post anesthesia

Ok, so you didn't get any updates, because I felt crappy and things went crappy. We got one good embryo. ONE! I was so bummed about it I just couldn't even talk about it. We did the transfer and I twisted the Doc's arm and he put back 3 embryos. Our ONE good one, one mediocre one, and one gimpy one. I know, I know, it only takes one. I would be thrilled with one baby (less thrilled with 3). Now we are playing the waiting game and I am trying to be positive. I have had some twinges and yesterday I was exhausted at work (yet I slept 9 hours the night before...hmmm?) and couldn't get enough food. For example, as I type I am finishing the entire container of tapioca pudding. The unfortunate part is that this is not all that unusual. I love to eat and am happy to do it whenever I can. The tired part, well who knows. Could be all these extra hormones I am hopped up on. Next week we should know more. For now I am just going to pretend that it was the embryos that just HAD to have pudding. Because of that, I don't feel guilty one bit :-)

Im back

Sorry for the blogger break. It would take me all day to explain but basically it was family drama and travel. So to bring you up to speed on the IVF front, I did the whole suppression thing and the whole stimulation thing. I was shocked that 3 shots a day was not as bad as I thought. I did not gain the 20 pounds that they said I might. I gained a couple, but who cares. I actually feel good. I know it sounds crazy, but I think my body actually likes it. This is the first time that my hormones are actually the same as a normal person. Who knows, maybe it will actually work.
So I did my HCG shot yesterday (in a parking lot). Its a long story and maybe I will post about it later. I go for my egg retrieval tomorrow (aka get all of my eggs sucked out). I am a little nervous about it, and will have plenty of time to blog about it because I am supposed to sit around and do nothing all day after it. At the moment I have 11 follicles, which is good, but less than I thought I would get. They were very careful to not let me hyperstimulate, which I appreciate but if this doesn't work I will only have a couple of embryos to freeze. Let's hope I don't need them!!

More post-anesthesia updates tomorrow! Wish me luck!

IVF Stress

Mostly it has been other life craziness that has been keeping me from my cyber-friends. Hopefully that part of life is slowing down and I can fill you in on the joys of IVF. The latest is that apparently they make you pay (in full) for the cycle 2 weeks before you start the fun drugs. They neglected to mention this little fact until Friday at noon, and now we are supposed to have signed all of our contracts and paid the bill by MONDAY. Of course we are supposed to sign the forms together and they have to be witnessed and this done at the clinic. I am not sure how this is going to happen seeing as how we both have jobs in different cities!Ugh. Supposedly if it is not done, then they stop treatment. I will be all-sorts-of-pissed-off if they try and do that. Can't a girl get an extension? Now I am all paranoid about it.
All I can say is...Don't make me come over there! (see, don't I sounds like a mom already :-)

I heart birth control

On this lovely Valentines day I have been too busy and am too tired to care about hearts and flowers. Hubby has had major crisis at work and will not be home until super late tonight. So we are unoffically boycotting the holiday this year (except that I ate 2 cupcakes at work today). Oh well.
I am finishing off my non-holiday celebration with a big fat birth control pill. yep. The Pill. I think it must be a joke among fertility docs that their infertile patients are subjected to this kind of irony. I picked up my prescription today and actually had to explain it to the pharmacist. She was very confused. I am learning that it is actually the "suppression" stage of my very first IVF cycle. Hubby and I met with my doc yesterday and handed me a big-ass binder full of info (that I have been avioding). I think we are in the big leagues now! oh boy!

Here we come

IVF, here we come. Another negative. I am now googling all I can about it and trying to figure out what I am in for. I will do whatever it takes I just hope that it works.

Crazy

Thanks for the love, and sorry for the lack of updates. The last 2 weeks have been crazy with a captial "C"! Since I quit my job, I needed to start looking for a new one. I apparently had job-hunting amnesia and forgot how isane it was! So I now have a new job that starts this week. Whew.

On the fertility front: Of course, during all of the job craziness there were also 3 doctors appointments. They were all good news so far. MRI results = no surgery needed, just a wierd shaped uterus. We also had 3 follicles this month (yeah!) and an IUI so we are VERY hopeful that at least one of them will stick (preferably not all 3). If they don't stick, then we are breaking out the big guns. Bring on the IVF. I am not sure how the IVF and the new job will mix but it should be interesting. I really hope that this month works and that I am balancing OB appointments and the new job instead. Of course, we just have to wait.

In the tube (MRI)

I spent 2 hours in a very loud tube today. It was way fun :-(
I guess it wasn't so bad. I got to wear pants (which is more than I can say for most of my appointments). I had been warned about the tube and the noise but I did not know that they were going to shoot me up with all sorts of stuff. An IM injection and an IV were not on my radar. Although I am not afriad of needles, whatever they gave me made me sick. It did give me an excuse head straight home to my comfy couch. I am feeling better now. I even got some sympathy from hubby. He ordered us some pizza and we are watching one of my favorite movies. I doubt I will hear about the results for a week or so. Since everything takes so frickin long we figured we could get in one more cycle before doing surgery. So tomorrow begins yet another round of drugs and fun. Yee Haw!

updates

Not too much to update with. My MRI is tomorrow and I am not sure what to expect. I understand what they are in theory, but the last time I was told a procedure would take no time and be painless, it was the exact opposite. So we will see.
Today begins another cycle and I am not sure what we are doing with it. I am assuming that we are doing the same old thing and then will maybe do surgery next month depending on the results.
In the meantime, I am looking for a new job and keeping busy.

Negative/Positive

Don't get too excited...
Another negative result but my positive outlook is intact this month (no ice cream necessary :-)

I didn't expect much this time around with my one measly little follicle, ovulation during my red-eye flight, and being surrounded by a house full of family during primo timing. I did hope that it would happen mainly so that I could tell my future offspring that they were truly a southern child. Not in the cards I guess.
What is in the cards is an MRI for me on Friday. Oh boy. I have never had one and am not looking forward to it, but if it brings me one step closer then I am all for it.

As for now I am polishing my resume and reading lots of newspapers so I can sound like I know what the hell I am talking about in a job interview that I hope comes my way. Somebody's got to want me, right?

Happy New Year!

I hope all is well and everyone is starting off 2007 with a bang.

I started mine off by quitting my job. I gave notice yesterday but will probably have to work for another month or so. I need a break from the mom & baby biz. SO my New Years resolution is to get myself a new j.o.b.
Almost all of my experience and education falls under the mom & baby catagory (ironic huh?) so now I am entering new territory. Wish me luck!

Holiday distractions

The holidays have been keeping me busy. I find that is a blessing and a curse. I love the distraction, but there are some holiday moments that make me long to be a mom. Watching my niece open her gifts (we had Hanukkah celebration on Sat), little girls with cute dresses and mary jane shoes at the nutcracker performance, and baking cookies. I think its hard because last year during the holidays we had been trying for 6months and I thought FOR SURE we would be pregnant before this Christmas and now I am wondering how many more holiday seasons it will be before we get there. I am hopeful that we will get there in this next year, but that's what I said last year.
As for the progress. I talked to the doc about the surgery and have to have an MRI in January. It looks like there will be another couple of cycles before the surgery happens. Hopefully one of them will be THE cycle and I can avoid the knife altogether. I am hoping 2007 will be a lucky one.

Messing with me

I am trying to get over my post negative blues and making progress and then AF has to go and mess with me. She showed up a day late and for a whole 24 hours I actually thought the test might have been wrong and got my hopes all up and stuff. Well she has arrived to crush those hopes yet again and also her tardiness messed up timing for IUI this month. Thanks bunches Flo.

Do over

It was yet another negative test result day. Apparently vacation relaxation was not helpful enough and there will be no Christmas baby miracles here. Now I have to call my doc and talk about surgery and IVF. Merry Christmas to me.

I am also out of ice cream.

Is it tomorrow yet?

Dread

I am wrapped in a sense of dread and impending doom. The time for testing is rapidly approaching and I want nothing to do with it. I want to hold on to my shred of hope that this month will be different. But alas the pee sticks must come out and I am afraid they will report the same bad news. I attempted a preemptive strike on the sadness by consuming an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's (phish food this time) but it just brought on the nausea that I was hoping to feel for a different reason. I fear that I might run out of ice cream flavors before I get the news I want.
Well, another day, another spoonful. I will keep you posted.

The name game

Vacation is great, but I have been trying to wade throughout the pile of mail and other stuff to do and have not have enough time to blog. So sorry.

Anyway, not much new on the TTC front. Still waiting. I ditched the ticker because I could never get it show the right day. But I can continue to tell you about my SIL TTC saga. There is a little (big) back story that would take too long to type but I will give you the highlights. So basically in addition TTC (yes, they know we have been trying) my BIL and SIL are threatening to steal our favorite potential girl name. Now I KNOW my worrying about this sounds stupid and petty and I realize that it kind of is, but if you knew the whole back story it would make much more sense. Anyway, when they were preg last time they asked for advice on what to name the baby and we asked them to please not name her X (our chosen name) because it was the only name that hubby and I could agree on. It was not in their top choices at the time so we didn't think it would be a big deal. Well they got all offended and said that they loved the name and might use it. Ok fine. We just thought we would ask, and they ended up using another name . No big deal UNTIL...
There was a dinner conversation on our vacation (I promptly left the table upon its beginning) and they were talking about TTC and how if they have a girl they have 2 names left from their top 3 and now my SIL doesn't like one of the other names so they think they would pick X (the name that this whole back story and argument was about).Seriously? They had to have known that this would be like rubbing salt in a wound for me, right?? It is not about the name really, but I feel like that was downright mean to talk about. She is not my favorite person right now.

SO, because I realize that this whole argument is completely stupid, I broke out the baby name book last night (yes, I have a baby name book). Hubby bought it for me when we started trying and it has been deeply buried in a drawer ever since. We went in search of a new name that we could agree on so that we could let go of the other one and so that I can not be upset when my BIL & SIL get preg before us, have a girl, and name her X. (OK I will still be upset, but I might be able to avoid unnecessary violence).

Wow, there are a lot of girls names out there and some are doozies. Yikes! I am very thankful to my parents that they spared me from the fate of some of the ones I read. We don't have any winners yet but I felt better that we found some new possibilities. I also know that all this is a little premature, but it part of the hopefull phase that I am in at the moment. One more week until we know whether or not we can put these names to good use.

Home again

Wow that was good vacation! I now have to deal with the post-vacation pile of things to do, but it was totally worth it.
On the TTC front. I (tried) not to think about it too much. We gave our best ovulation time effort and now we are waiting again. The trying not to think about it was complicated by my SIL announcing that they were also TTC again. oh joy (insert sarcasm here). So I tried not to be too paranoid about the future pregnancy announcement and the fact that it very well might come before mine. Tried being the operative word here. I also got lots of time to play with my beautiful niece. I LOVE being with her, but I must admit it does remind me of how much I want a little one of my own to play dress up with. Ahhh someday.
(hopefully before my SIL!!)

Cycle day

something or other. I am on vacation starting in five, four, three, two, one (days that is). I still have one more week, but then it is sunshine and not-so-sandy beaches! Yeah!
I do have to keep better track of my cycle this month since I am on my own but I am not stressing about it. I refuse.
When I get back, I plan to torture my husband. I am dragging him to a meditation workshop (given by my fertility clinic) and WE are joining a support group. He is being a good sport, but is just oozing reluctance. Sorry hubs, I think it help keep me sane in the long run. Don't we all want that?

Censoring my netflix

I will have to take a closer look at what movies are waiting in my queue. Last night I was an unsuspecting victim. I was subjected to a movie about a husband cheating on his infertile wife and getting his mistress pregnant. Evil Movie!!!
I have no idea what happened next. That was as much plot as I could handle. I think there should be additions to the movie rating system. How about "I" for infertility content, or maybe a scarlet "A" would be more appropriate. I will be sure to screen my movies more closely in the future.